So You Don’t Have To: 50 Shades of Gay

Summer Reading

So You Don’t Have To is where I re-cap the “newest” books, TV & Film. This installment takes on “Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars” by Scotty Bowers.

Free time off from work can offer new perspectives on life and love. Staycations especially can give you that psychic space to step OUT of your work life and INTO sleeping in, marathons of Roseanne, lapses in hygiene, housework as procrastination for creative projects, and the realization that it’s 4:30 PM and what do you have to show for today besides a calm demeanor and a Buddah-like understanding of the nuance of the cultural catchphrase “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Chile?!”

However if you’re a woman of today, even maximum relaxation has its limits. With leisure time at a premium you simply must make the most of your time, and I think that’s why people read books. Maybe?

In a blur of a few reading sessions ending in mind-dizzying afternoon on Labor Day I finished the tome “Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars” by Scotty Bowers. As a leisure-reader I’m neither in a position to critique nor to judge, so I’m simply trying to convey that I finished this book and read the whole thing.

I wanted to read this since catching the CBS Sunday Morning segment that aired earlier this summer. The Amazon reviews sealed my interest, vacillating between glowing excitement and disgust dipped in flavors of horror and disdain. Love it or hate it – it’s a book alright, and I was ready to find out.

I can’t tell if the internet has someone else nicknaming this book “50 Shades of Gay,” but either way it’s a safe bet you’re hearing it here last, whether you’ve heard the nickname before or you’re just reading it on the website of the same name.

I’ll spare you the salacious, plentiful, and literal “blow-by-blows” of the peccadilloes of the stars of yesteryear, so if you like reading about famous Hollywood men of the 30s-60s expressing physical affection for each other, described in a basely graphic way, then take a gander at what Scotty has to say. I also recommend it if you don’t have issues with childhood abuse disguised as romantic affairs. Blech.

There are a lot of descriptions I’d love to get into but this is a family website. Not really but as I’m getting to the end of this entry I’m realizing that I need to tell people what I’ve read. It basically boils down to me needing validation for having read the sentence “Cole Porter _____ _____ _____ like a pro” and for reading about a time when Charles Laughton ate a doo doo sandwich.

Lunchtime?

Consummate pro

Perhaps this book came into my life at a time to say: “Here’s some entertainment for you, culled from the carnal exploits in a time when homosexuality was covered up by the major motion picture studios. Perhaps it is today as well? But let’s let this scamp Scotty break it down for you in explicit, easy to understand terms. Less interesting and pervasive will be the hetero exploits of his clients and encounters, but that’s why you’ll write a blog called ’50 Shades of Gay.’ Until then, why don’t you relax with a cool drink in the twilight hours of your staycation and finish this book, the way Scotty himself finished – physical encounters that is – many, many times.”

5 stars

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