Category Archives: Question of the Ages

Jo Jo Rabbit, your life is calling!

Let’s go to the Globes! It’s 2020, winter came and left us holding a bag of a list of nominees to distribute to the French Press to do what they do best. Can you taste the competition? I like my award shows like I like my coffee: after I’ve had something small to eat so it doesn’t irritate my stomach. Here’s my roundup of the ultimate Golden Globe winners slated to win.

This year we saw Antonio Banderas polish off his bandolier for a tango of “Pain and Glory.” Ice cold blonde “Bombshells” made accusations on and off the screen and the Me Too Choir kept us all on our toes. And Tarantino was there to capture all 10 dirty bare ones in “Once Upon a Time in the West” – a real story of adversity and true grit! We saw human chameleon Robert DeNero whet his whistle and flex his pork chops to play someone of Irish descent, and master of disguise Joaquin Phoenix had audiences rolling in the aisles with “Jokes.”

When I hear the name Jonathan Pryce my mind shows me Jonathan Silverman. Todd Solondz, Todd Haynes. It’s all I can do to avoid confusion Between Two Todds. And now Phillips? Let’s keep this controversy off the ballots and out of our inboxes this year.


As I was reading the exemplary biography of Harriet Tubman from the children’s “Ordinary People Change the World” series sometime last year I thought her life would make an amazing movie. Shortly after that I saw a preview for the heroine’s titular film. Coincidence? Once again Hollywood shows us how it’s done, telling compelling stories of the Black Experience, AND we got a Dolemite biopic. Diversity, California style! But not Tupac’s California, the white one.

One pope is enough thanks, but I guess it takes two to reflect on one of the grandest cultural institutions of humanity that promotes fear, control, and the prolific molestation of countless children. Amen!

That trailer for 1916 looks like a doozy. Mr. Kate Winslow, you done good! Welp, it looks like you got divorced ten years ago but doesn’t WWI feel like yesterday?

Noah Baumgartener, is it your year? If the Winslows saw “Marriage Story” ten years ago would it have inspired them to work through the pain and strike a balance between creative self-involvement and affluent cruelty? This is a question for which there may be no answers, but I’ll wager a guess and say “who knows.”

The song nominated from Cats happened when I went to the bathroom so I’m a clean slate for this category. My money is on the Lovers Lopez (although maybe they are family – no judgments!) for their song from Freeze 2: “Into the Unknown.” “Into the Unknown” is what I whisper as I flush the toilet in the morning and it’s a real theme for the new year. I think a good idea for a film would begin with a toilet flushing – just an idea!

Now let’s give it up for the “Little Women” of the actress categories. My thoughts here are few and far between. Annette Bening, isn’t it enough for you to be there glowering at us from the start of every Columbia Pictures movie? Wouldn’t you just love to do a jigsaw puzzle with Beanie Feldstein? Ladies – gotta love em.


There’s only room for one Todd this year

Sometimes I’m trying to relax but then I get worried that one day I’ll get Billied on the street and I won’t be prepared, so I stay sharp by naming as many Asian celebrities as fast as I can – just in case that’s what he asks me. I’m always going to put Awkwafina at the top of my list, so let’s put her at the top of this one too. But let’s also make room for Constance – can’t wait to see her dazzle us in some Wu-Wear on the Rug of Stars. And if it’s a year where Bongo Ho is behind the lens you know you’re in for a treat. Let’s all starve our proverbial tapeworms, hold a bowl of warm broth near our open mouths and let that “Paradise” out!

The night of the Globes, will it be Ford or Ferrari? Or will Adam drive the competition home as a show of good sportsmanship and neighborly goodwill? Keep your eyes peeled, keep this page bookmarked, and keep dreaming about the stars!

Who is Bob Benson?

Fact: the internet is a great place to air out your mind’s eye. Let’s do this!

I’m not so into weighing in on the same old things everyone else is, and none of us are here for that. However, one pop culture phenomenon I have stuck in my craw is the character Bob Benson on Mad Men.


Who is he? Of course the internet has already asked that question many times over. I’m forever hearing it last when it comes to real-time TV. In fact, I like to delay my DVR viewings for marathon slob sessions, so I’m not up on recaps and I’ve adapted modern-times habits like not reading twitter too carefully on certain days of the week to avoid spoilers.

Things I usually do instead of reading recaps or watching episodes unfold in real time:

– Gently defocus my eyes while I’m working to give everything a dream-sequence feel
– Abstractly wonder what are all of the things I’ve forgotten
– Stare into space (that kind of combines the first two)

But for some reason I have a passionate theory about who this character is, and I would like to share my thought. I simply think he’s pulling a Kramer.

I can’t believe I’m posting this nearly 48 hours after the last episode has aired. Are you hearing it last, or just differently? I don’t know if I’m ready for this ride!

Best of Zazzle

Just for laughs, I like to head on over to Zazzle every once in a blue one and do a search for something that will make me laugh.  Nothing like it opens up my flow-hole when I’m at the office, penned in like an animal, with some sort of mental blockage. Funny sayings and inside jokes emblazoned in wacky yet common typefaces on manufactured goods ranging from ballcaps to keychains – mousepads to notepads? Sign me up for a stroll along this riverbank of creativity and fun – and then let me get back to making high-quality television, please.

Today I read about a lady in Denver who tried to get out of jury duty by acting wacky. In addition to an ensemble of red lipstick, black eyebrows, reindeer socks and mismatched shoes (or Christmas Kristen as I call it) she sported a cool t-shirt that said “Ask Me About My Bestseller.” Now, that’s what I call style AND substance.

I immediately hit the Zazz (who has time for 2 syllables these days?) and did a search for “Ask Me About My.” You name it, and somebody has already designed a cool mug or button with this cool catchphrase. Just fill in the blank with a body part, a disease, or a medical procedure and you’ve got a hit item for sale.

Then I saw this one.

Instead of filing this away into the abyss of my existence where the hours of 9 AM to 7 PM normally go, I took a look at the clock and decided to “blog that Zazz.”

Hear It Here Last is a place of positivity, so here’s all of the cool things this shirt has going for it:

  • It’s provocative.
  • It’s suspenseful – Don’t ask me about my grandkids. “Okay, why?” They died in a fire!
  • It draws the viewer in. Did the person wearing this set the fire? Did they escape and leave the grandchildren inside? Are the grandchildren’s parents still alive or were they also killed in the fire? If they are still alive AND it’s the grandparent’s fault, have they forgiven them?
  •  It has 2 fonts – one sophisticated, the other playful.
  • It says it all – yet it says nothing – yet it conveys the heaviest sentiment of all – “You don’t even want to know the grief I’m living right now.”

Tired of explaining life’s tragedies? Wear the words and take the weight off your shoulders. Zazzle it.

Believe it… Or Not


Believe it… Or Not: This photo is from an episode of “Laverne & Shirley.” As soon as Shirley and Dan Marinara (aka Laverne’s boyfriend) take off from Rodeo DiFazio’s to go to the Dodgers game, Lenny & Squiggy sit down for a silent film fantasia. Here, Eric Von Squigheim seduces his silent film dream girl.

Oooh Ladies First, Ladies First

So I was watching the cinematic triumph “Bringing Down the House” the other day. Before I continue, I’d just like to say that every blog entry in the history of time should start this way.

Anyhoo, I love Queen Latifah. She’s classy, a talented comedienne, singer, etc. and a good role model. What’s not to love? She’s had an enduring career spanning all the performing arts and her persona exudes easy going positivity.

Hats off to you Dana Owens. Oh what’s that? Sure I would love to come over to your mansion n New Jersey and have some iced tea by the pool.

Note to self: add her books to summer reading list.

Anyway, this homage has a burning question yearning below the surface. Everybody knows her hit Ladies First, the catchy feminist rap anthem that has stood the test of time. Everybody especially knows the catchy chorus.

WHY OH WHY then on current available recordings is the best chorus in the world replaced with a horn sample? I can’t find anything about why the Ladies First chorus would disappear – rights issues, what have you. I can’t find out what the horn sample is from either.  Who took the sweet melody out of Ladies First?

Here’s the original.  How sweet it is.